You can’t make this stuff up
Editor’s Note: Dear readers, health care is a serious business. That’s why the occasional moments of hilarity are memorable. This installment of Funny Bones should bring a smile, and might even remind you of something that’s happened in your practice.
I had a patient we’ll call Joe, who was in terrible shape after a car accident left him in a coma. Afterwards, he was referred to me after all of his other rehabilitation and vocational therapies to get his musculoskeletal system functioning including his cranial system. He worked hard and was coming along nicely.
During one visit, I was performing postural analysis and became distraught over the postural patterns I was seeing. None of them made sense. As my exacerbation was hitting its apex, his wife opened the treatment room door to let another Joe in. As all three were laughing, they let on that the patient was actually Dan, Joe’s identical twin brother.
Joe’s wife commented how I couldn’t tell it wasn’t Joe from his face, but I could tell something was not right by his muscles and his posture. The consensus was that I would be a terrible witness in a police lineup unless I was looking at their posture from behind.
I treated an older patient and encouraged her to put ice over the area for twenty minutes at home. She related that she did not have an icepack. I said that “frozen peas” make a great icepack. She looked pensively and asked in all earnestness, “Can I use corn?”
During the second year of my post-Doctoral residency in chiropractic sports medicine, I spent nearly all of my weekends volunteering and providing chiropractic services at sporting events. On this particular weekend, I was working a 5k race event. There were hundreds of competitors from recreational to elite. I had a portable table set up underneath a small tent and was providing stretching, soft tissue, taping, mobilizations, and chiropractic adjustments to competitors prior to the start of the race.
I had a long line of people waiting for treatment, most who received regular chiropractic adjustments. Occasionally competitors who had never received chiropractic care before noticed the long line and became curious. One woman was very nervous about the race and asked if receiving an adjustment could help with the tightness and tension in her neck and shoulders related to stress.
After examination, I concluded that she would benefit. Along with some light soft tissue and stretching, I delivered an adjustment to her upper cervical spine where she presented with limited range of motion. With the rapid release of tension and endorphins immediately following the adjustment, she experienced what can only be described as a reaction of the autonomic nervous system that one may experience on their honeymoon night. Following this reaction, although slightly embarrassed, the competitor smiled from ear to ear, said thank you, and went off to the race.
Having a ball
I was giving a seminar teaching a new technique I created to release pressure of the contents of the femoral triangle (nerve, artery and vein) and decrease tension of the inguinal ligament. I performed the technique on a colleague who was concerned about pressure and developing a hernia.
The next day as I started the seminar, he raised his hand from the back of the room and stated for everyone to hear, “I have to tell you since that technique yesterday, my testicles feel great.” The audience and the videographer lost it. (Yes, it’s on video!)
Michele Wojciechowski is author of the award-winning humor book Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box. Have a great story for “Funny Bones”? Contact Michele Wojciechowski at MWojoWrites@comcast.net.