April 2008

Article Tools

---

Featured White Paper

Introduction to Neuromechanical Instrument Adjusting: Impulse Adjusting Technique

Listen for success

Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, wrote, “You can make more friends in two weeks by becoming a good listener than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Carnegie recognized that people who are self-absorbed and talk about themselves all the time rarely develop strong relationships with others. Your success as a doctor, business person, and entrepreneur depends on your ability to establish relationships. It is essential you understand the importance of listening and develop this skill to maximize the impact of your communication style.

Successful people understand the value of becoming a good listener. To be a good listener, you have to want to hear. But you also need some skills to help you.

Here are five strategies to help you become a better listener.

1. Listen to understand. When you don’t pay attention to what others have to say, you communicate you don’t value them.

But when you listen, you communicate you respect them and show them you care. Zig Ziglar said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Take time to listen as a person, not just as a doctor. Effective listening requires more than hearing words. It requires you to find meaning and understanding in what the person is saying. Meanings are not in words, but in people. Put yourself in the other person’s place and your ability to understand will increase.

2. Look at the speaker. This means make eye contact. Listening begins with giving the speaker your undivided attention.

During a conversation, make sure you have PTC (present-time consciousness). In other words, keep your thoughts focused on the speaker. Don’t do anything to distract you from actively listening, such as catching up on other work or taking notes.

And if you don’t have the time at the moment, then schedule a time when you can give the speaker your full attention. A person forms a first impression of you within 10 seconds, so you have one opportunity to get it right.

3. Stay quiet. Don’t be quick to jump in with a response. Don’t interrupt. Let the speaker finish before you reply. There is nothing wrong with having a moment of silence before you talk.

Silence will give you a chance to reflect on what’s being said so you can respond appropriately. Don’t feel one of you has to be speaking all the time. Silence can be an extremely powerful communication tool in business. Most people feel very uncomfortable with silence.

The one who speaks last holds all the

4. Summarize. Listening is more effective when it’s active. A technique for active listening is to summarize at intervals what the other person says. As a speaker finishes one subject, paraphrase the main points or ideas before going on to the next one, and verify that you have gotten the right message.

Say, for example: “So, Ms. Smith, let me review to make sure I understand you correctly.” This is a powerful technique that lets the patient know you are really listening.

After a patient history evaluation, take a moment to summarize exactly what the patient said about his condition. Patients want to know you are listening, but unfortunately many doctors don’t. This is an extraordinary rapport-building skill to implement.

5. Respond verbally and nonverbally. A good listener stops talking and uses receptive language instead. Follow and encourage your speaker’s thoughts with such words and phrases as “I see . . . uh huh . . . oh really.” Doing this forces you to react to the ideas presented, rather than to the person.

If you really want to listen, you will act like a good listener. Good listeners speak body language. The best technique is to “mirror” the speaker by assuming the same body language and conversational tone he or she is presenting.

You need to be a bit of an actor. Mirroring the person’s tonality, sounding like she sounds, makes her feel comfortable. If she talks fast, you talk fast. If she talks slowly, you talk slowly.

You can strengthen the bond by using the same words the speaker uses. For example: If he uses the term “popping sound.”  If the speaker talks with his hands, do the same. Never mock the speaker; merely assume the same language.

Make listening a priority, no matter how busy you become. Many people take for granted the ability to listen. Most people consider listening to be easy, and they view themselves as pretty good listeners.

Although it's true most people are able to hear, few are capable of really listening. Take time to develop this skill and the results will be astoundingly powerful.

Perry Nickelston, DC, is vice president of practice development for K-laser USA. He can be reached at 866-595-7749, ext. 102, or through the Web site, www.k-laserusa.com. 

Comments

Be the first to comment on this Article

Post Your Comment

Name

 

Location

 

Comment

To submit your comment, please type the security word shown in the picture.

Remember information