4 self-talk blunders to avoid
By Monica Wofford

Each of us has internal voices that tell us to do certain things and make certain decisions. If we let them, the voices guide our everyday existence.

But the voices are only as happy and healthy as the information you give them.

What you say to yourself makes a difference in how your day goes. Dictate what you say and how you appear to others. Whether you like it or not, the voices in your head have a lot of power.

Think about what you said to yourself this morning. Did it serve you well today? Did it start you off in a good mood, or a grumpy one? Did that mood go with you to the office, or did you leave it in the parking lot and try to fake it until you made it?

4 SELF-TALK BLUNDERS

As you think about your self-talk and the power it possesses, consider four blunders you may easily make:

1. You ‘hear’ negative thoughts about yourself. The first 30 minutes of your day are the most impressionable moments that tend to set the mood for the rest of the day.

If you fill those minutes with negative thoughts, such as “I feel fat” or “I look old” or “I’m not good enough,” is it any wonder your day would go from bad to worse?

Solution: Instead of negative thoughts, wake up with a positive outlook and repeat affirmations.

It’s been speculated that the average negative-to-positive self-talk people engage in is 14-to-1. Whether your ratio is lower or higher, consider its effect on you and others. And consider that other people also engage in this negative self-talk. Realizing that may help you be more compassionate with difficult patients.

2. You let others affect you. Imagine you are walking down the hallway to your office. You are in a great mood; your self-talk is positive.

You are happy, and you cheerfully great a co-worker in the hallway. To your dismay, she keeps walking without acknowledging you in any way.

Your reaction? At first you are dismayed, then you begin to doubt yourself and wonder what you did to upset her. Your day goes downhill from there, with your head filled with negative thoughts.

Solution: The reality is there could be a dozen reasons why the co-worker ignored you, and none may have anything to do with you. Before you let your own negative voices and assumptions run away with themselves, talk to the co-worker. And most of all, think positive about yourself.

3. You surround yourself with negative people. It’s been said you are the average of the five people with whom you most often socialize. In other words, if you have negative friends who drain your energy, you will also drain energy. Negative friends can influence your internal voices and make feeling positive difficult.

Solution: Take an inventory of your friends and colleagues. Make a deliberate attempt to surround yourself with individuals who emit positive energy.

4. You take things personally. When an employee doesn’t seem to like you or a patient doesn’t seem friendly despite your best efforts, you take it personally and “hear” negative internal voices, which ask, “What did I do to deserve that treatment?”

Solution: In a professional setting, take things professionally.

People feel they can say and do things differently in a professional setting than when dealing with friends. They feel as if they are talking to a nonfeeling entity.

Remember: When patients complain, the complaint is rarely about you personally; it is about your services. When employees complain, the complaints are usually about a procedure or policy.

As a leader, you will not always be the favorite person. Not everyone will like you or how you run your operation. The trick is to like yourself and to say nice things to yourself, so at least one person likes you. In the end, that’s all that counts.

Monica Wofford is a nationally known trainer, author, and coach. The author of Contagious Leadership and Contagious Customer Service, she inspires audiences to produce results. She can be reached by phone at 866-382-0121 or through her Web site at www.monicawofford.com.