A tale that answers, ‘What do women want?’
By Angelica Redleaf, DC

It’s an age-old question: What do women want? Specifically, what do they want when they go to a healthcare professional?

Chaucer, the 14th century author of The Canterbury Tales, answered this question in “The Wyfe of Bath’s Tale.”

In a variation of this tale, a knight in a far-off land is brought before the king and queen, because he raped a woman. The king decides the knight should be put to death, but the queen intervenes, saying she has a better way to deal with the knight.

The queen tells the knight that he has one year and one day to roam the land to find the answer to the question, “What do women want?” If he discovers the correct answer, his life will be spared. If he gets it wrong, then he will be hanged.

The knight has no choice but to carry out the quest. It gives him another year to live. And, he does not think it will be difficult to find the answer.

He begins his journey and asks the first woman he meets. She tells him that women like to be given gifts. “Yes,” he thinks. “That’s it. That’s the answer!”

But to be sure, he asks the next woman he encounters. She tells him that women want a lot of attention. “Hmmm,” he thinks. “That sounds right, too.”

He continues to ask every woman he meets. To his surprise, each woman gives a different answer. The knight becomes quite bewildered, especially since his year’s reprieve is coming to an end. He has discovered that women want to be sexual equals; they want to be appreciated; they want to be treated as special; they want to be included in decision making; they want respect — and more.

It is now the last day. Feeling morose, the knight meets an old woman dressed in rags on the path to the castle. She is ugly and has a huge wart on her large nose.

The knight thinks that the old hag cannot possibly know the answer, but he asks her anyway. He has nothing to lose.

The old woman tells him that she has the answer! But, if she is right and his life is spared, then he must grant her a wish. He agrees. She gives him her answer and the knight returns to the court.

The queen asks him for the answer. He tells her what the ugly, old woman confided to him.

The queen says, “You must have met my sister! She’s the only one who would know that. Well, your life is spared. You are free to go.”

The knight leaves the court relieved, but when he steps outside, the old woman confronts him and demands that he make good on his promise. “You must marry me,” she says.

The knight is appalled and pleads with her to take something else in return, but the old hag does not. She insists on marrying him.

When the wedding is over, the new bride tells the knight that it is time for them to consummate their marriage. The knight is repulsed. The old woman tells him, “I have a secret. I can be beautiful for you. But, you must choose. I can either be beautiful when we are alone in the evening, or during the day when everyone would see me.”

The knight, remembering what he has learned during this past year, says, “It’s up to you to choose.”

With those words, his ugly, old wife turns into a young, beautiful woman. The knight’s words broke the spell that had turned her into an old hag.

What is it that women want? The old woman’s answer, and the answer that broke her spell, was this: Women want to be able to choose for themselves.

How does this apply to your practice? That’s easy. If women feel manipulated, controlled, not listened to, or not respected in both body and mind, they will not feel well cared for and will be angry. And angry people file complaints.

Chaucer’s advice is still practical and useful today.

Angelica Redleaf, DC, has been in practice in Providence, R.I., since 1978. She is the author of Behind Closed Doors: Gender, Sexuality & Touch in the Doctor/Patient Relationship (1998) and is an instructor on boundary training for ChiroEcoCE.com. She welcomes questions that may be appropriate to answer in this column. She can be contacted at angelchiro@aol.com.