The power of your word
By Angelica Redleaf, DC

Are you a person who keeps his (or her) word? Most would like to think so, but consider these scenarios:

• An acquaintance asks you to write a letter of recommendation for him, which must be done by a certain date. You agree, even though you don't want to do it. You procrastinate until the deadline passes.

• A patient has a personal problem and asks your advice. You say, "No problem," but you never get around to scheduling a time to meet.

• A family member needs you to help her move a heavy piece of furniture. You say you'll do it, but on the day you agreed to help, something you would rather do comes up and you call to cancel your help.

All of these situations have the same element in common: You gave your word, but were not willing to keep it. It's easy to say OK even though you don't want to carry out the request. Perhaps you do this because you don't want to say "no" or because you want people to like you. Whatever the reason, saying you will do something and then not carrying out the promise has a compounding negative effect.

You might think, "What's the problem? I am a busy professional, and I have a lot of responsibilities."

By not keeping your word, you reduce the power of your word to others as well as yourself. Then you may wonder why others have lost respect for you or even much worse — how and why you have lost respect for yourself.

Keeping your word — or not — increases or decreases your power. The principle behind this is similar to what happens when you exercise. Exercise builds muscle, which in turn, builds strength.

Not exercising allows you to lose muscle, holding true to the adage, "You lose what you don't use."

Try giving and keeping your word for one full month and see the results for yourself. Only say "yes" when you know you can and will do something, and be honest and say "no" when you can't or won't.

This includes what you say to yourself concerning exercise, diet, nutrition, alcohol consumption, smoking, drug use, and anything else that you tell yourself you'll do or not do.

Keep your word and watch your personal self-respect and power grow as well as the respect that others have for you.

Remember, your power is in your word!

Angelica Redleaf, DC, has been in practice in Providence, R.I., since 1978. She is the author of Behind Closed Doors: Gender, Sexuality & Touch in the Doctor/Patient Relationship (1998) and is an instructor on boundary training for ChiroEcoCE.com. She welcomes questions that may be appropriate to answer in this column. She can be contacted at angelchiro@aol.com.